I don't understand

I don't understand too
Not only you

Since we both know
What is bad
What is good

Why
You still love the bad thing
I'm still repeat the thing hurt me

Like example
You told me
Everything start from bad
Yea
I have start from bad too
I know you have start from bad too
So it's time to go for good
So I treat you my best
But instead, you have done the bad thing to me
You repeat the bad thing now
But you have the reason, because you have Calvin already

But comes to this situation
You know Calvin treat you better than Jessica
Why you leave Calvin and go for a bad thing who hurts you?
This is quite weird here...
Don't you should choose for the good thing?
Since Calvin is your real boyfriend
You are having double standard
Calvin treat you well， but you choose Jessica
I treat you well, but you choose Calvin and Jessica
Really don't understand

You know what is bad,
But you keep continue repeat the bad thing?
Erm... Weird...

You keep say
"Nobody ask you to be perfect" To me
But
Isn't you keep complain?
The goal you complain isn't wish that one you complain will be better?
Or you just complain for fun?
Weird...
Like you complain Jessica
You don't wish her treat you better at all?
You just want to complain that's all?
I don't think so, you're asking people to be perfect too

I love you
Because you let other people hurt before
I thought you understand the feeling of hurt
So you won't hurt me as you know how it feels like.
But just, I'm wrong, you are just like the other people who keep repeat the fault.

We always complain this world is corrupted
But do we really not involved inside the corruption?
I dare to say
I don't, because I do my best to cure the corruption
But in the end I'm hurt by the effort I paid
And sooner because the despair I gains I'm going involve in the corruption
But can you say you don't ruin the world?
Because if like what you said to me and what you done to me
You're the one who ruins this world too

Hold you read this
And understand
Because someday
You might feel the same feel as I'm feeling right now also
What comes around, goes around

I'm happy that you feel guilty that day
Because that's the owner I know
But
She just gone away so fast
She is the one who really happy and able to make me smile

You're not, you're not happy
You should know yourself
You're actually feeling lonely and hurt inside too
You can't listen to me
Because you will think what I said means you
But actually, it's truth
Because you're one of the people that destroy all the good thing I try hard to build

Cry... non-stop crying
As I must stop my love to someone I love...

This is not what I want...
This is really something not I want...
I want to love you...
I want to love you so much...

Why?
Am I doing not good enough?

Please
I don't wanna to write any sad blog anymore...
Please...
I just want to be happy...
Please...

Why in the end
Everyone leaves?

4years
I can wait
As long as it is worth
I will wait ^^

Future Plan

After all the stories passed away
After I have given up on my plans for years
I'm start on my new life again
I'm start to plan again for my future
I'm start to believe again in future

So here areeeeee my newwwwwwww plans~
After all the time I go through
I understand my plan shouldn't depends on single person anymore
And also most important is don't let it depends on your partner!!
We will never know when they will change their mind!!
Don't make your plan depends on other!!
Then the success and failure rate of your plan left unknown!!
You will left your future vague!!

Even though, we are not and shouldn't alone
Sometimes is good to stick with other too
Group achievement is way better than self achievement ^^
Some of the plans below may include other people
But as well as it involved other people
I won't really expect much and it must be succeed like last time
Just believe it, that's all I do ^^

Independent Plans:
1.Work in Station One as Assistant Supervisor
(This is less favorite now because the true goal for it
Is to help that girl who is not worth for me to help.
A plan which is related to love, quite troublesome.
Anyway it can gains some experience for management area,
it's good for my future too. So I just included it inside my plan.)

2.Work in Komputer Megastore as Technician/Sales
(As what I wish last time, go back my old working place
And learn everything I can learn over there to gains experience
It will be a nice place for me though, just depends whether I want or not xD
But I wish to earn money faster, so this is still considering
As I have to take 1~2years to stay over there.)

3.Amway
4.Prudential Insurance
(These two might be the good way to earn fast money
But problem is I'm lack of friends right now
It's harder for me to start for now
So I just left this plan behind until I feel it's the right time)

5.Computer Service
(As long as I get any computer who want to repair xD)

~Update afterward for Dependant Plans!!~

I like when she said "sayang you" after I help her
Hope she is really telling the truth
Expect to be with her so muchhhhh
Hehehe XD

New life gonna being with you~~
Please God really give me a new chance
I will do all my best to catch the chance this time

Please show me she is someone I should love~~ ^^

Last Day

Today is the last day in the college
Finally this day has reached
I have waited for 2years and half to embrace this day
But
It doesn't as happy as I expected...

Last year until now
I live quite a confuse life...
I take around 1 year to overcome such a confusion
It's not really 100% recovered now
But at least
I have control on myself again
Only I have to rest some days
Go somewhere
Do what I wish do what I want

I have spent too much time on a lot of stupid love event
I have wasted too much time to treat other better but suffer myself
But I know I can't blame any other
Because this is the path I choose
Although I have forsaken everything of me
That's what I choose to be

I'm kidding with my studies life
The diploma certificate I will get is a low grade
But since I have done such a thing
I should don't look back now

This is the last day I left in college
And the new day I gonna being on the new life

So don't look back now
It's time to step forward
Left all the sorrow behind my back
I will redemption my fault with my future days!

Secrets

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
Til' all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

+Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away+

My god, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight, too cold
I don't really like my flow, no, so

repeat +

Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything

*So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time, don't need another perfect line
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away*

repeat *
All my secrets away, All my secrets away

-------------------------------------------
My life is getting fucking boring
So tell me what you want to know
Like all those time
I gonna give my secret away
And start another one new life