Heartless

I'm working hard nowadays

Doesn't stop my hand on works

Doesn't stop on trying to call for supplier and retailer

It seems good

I'm fullfilling my times

I'm doing all good

I'm fine, I work hard for my future

My future will be all fine if I work hard

But

Why I feel so empty...?

Emptiness...

It's getting bigger and bigger whenever I stop my hand...

I can't sleep...

I stay in front computer

But doing nothing...

I want to chat with someone

But I don't know what should I say...

Or maybe I don't know who should I find to chat...

Even I chat to someone I loved before

I have nothing to talk with her...

A merely greeting is what I can do...

Another her

I once thought she might be a different one

The one who can make me feel alive

But I think... I was wrong again...

I'm becoming more soulless after she left

It's like

"I'm used to this"

I already used to this kind of feeling

I used to the bad end

And I didn't say much this time

I have already become lazy to say anything

I feel

I'm starting to lose my emotion

I'm no longer feel love...

I'm no longer feel happiness...

I'm no longer feel sadness...

I'm no longer cry...

It's all fell apart now...

I'm no longer feel the existence of me...

I didn't want to ask why anymore

I feel lazy to everything

I just do what I should do

But

I have no feeling for what I'm doing now...

I'm just being

So heartless for now

Am I...

Completely lost my heart?

After all I have done...

When lover has to be friend

Sometimes

Love must come to be the friend

I will get used to

The phone doesn't ringing for your income message anymore

Less a people that always say good night to me

The hand less a hand to hold

My lips can never touch your lips anymore

I have to face everything by myself again

When I feel sad, I have to stand by myself and overcome all the obstacles alone

I can not hug you and feel your body warm anymore

I will get used to all of those

Even it takes time

Even it hurts

But I know

In the end

I will get used to everything I don't want to

Because

Love can't be force

Maybe we just meet each other in a wrong time

Or we are not the right person for both

At least

I love you once

Walk the Talk, if not, don't talk ^^

If you don't want to see me cry

Please makes me smile

If you can't do it

Just let me act like I'm okie ^^

Love & Leave

I try my best to love, and now, I have to try my best to leave.

My tear doesn't worth a people to hold in anywhere.

Fated to cry and fail on the love.

No matter how much I try.

No matter how harder I do.

No matter how serious I am.

Still I found no one can show me what is love.

God, when will you shine your light on me?

Lead me to find someone who will cherish my love.

How I can ever believe to love?

If you set so many failures for me

To make my heart become harder and harder

Even when the truth love is come

My heart have already became a stone

Which is tough and strong

But possess no feeling anymore.

It takes very much courage to be with someone who don't wish people know

Yea... It makes me feel heavily unsafeness

In fact I don't like it so much

I'm a guy who need feeling of safe

I need someone to hold my hand tightly in front of everyone

I wish to tell everyone “I love you” loudly and you will smile after it

But I know with you I can do nothing else like that

Even it's like that also

I will try to endure it and take all of those weigh to love you

I believe one day...

You will give me all of those

Because you are different with other girl

I believe you will give me different life other than those girls who hurt me

I just want to love you truthfully like I always wanted.

Never Say Give Up

Do you think I'm give up so fast?

I won't

I will prove you I will really do my best for my love!

Do you think you can stop me to love someone?!

You won't!

No matter how many obstacle you set

I will crash it all down

Jump over all the bullshit blocks infront of me

As long as she is after the obstacles!

As long as she is not giving me up!

I can't be around her

So What!?

I still sing a song to her through cellphone!

I won't Give Up So Easily!!

I'm Chariot!

Even is you who block in my way,

I will just crash you down!

I will prove you!

I'm different with other people!

People follow with the bullshit flow

But I'm not!

You will understand one day,

I'm just one of the few in your creation that will make you proud!

No matter how many test you set for me,

It won't beat me down!

Unless you end my life!

God You Are Really Kidding Of Me.

It's not the first time.

Why you like to pull me into heaven

But step me down from heaven to hell

When I think I'm granted?

Lonely Relationship

It might sound funny and immature...

But sometimes I just wish someone will accompany me...

Why can't you be that someone...?

I thought even message, calling or chatting at least

But seem like you just not the one who will do that for me...?

It's not about distance problem

It's the feeling of nothing

Even you said you love me and treat me as your boyfriend

But I feel NOTHING from you...

You might hold the girlfriend position for me

But you didn't really treat me as your boyfriend...

Isn't it?

Can you don't let me feel alone with you... please...?

If I can trust

I will

But problem is

I'm so protective for myself after all I have gone through

Please

Understand me why I'm being so protective

If you love me

Please give me more confident on you

I'm trying to trust you fully

This really takes my courage to do that

Don't say I'm not trusting on you

I'm really trying my best as I love you

I love you

But how about you?

When I say "I miss you"

I just wish you can beside of me

When I say "I love you"

I just wish you can love me more

When this two sentences are hard to come out from my mouth

Because I afraid you can't beside me

Yet you won't love me more...

Even all the things are done

And I wish to do more for you

But will you love me more?

Sometimes I don't say doesn't mean I don't mean it

But it's just too hard to say out

I just too afraid I'm the one who hurt in the end again...

Issit I think so much?

Or the love just can't last long?

Feeling so unsafe to love...

Why...?

Maybe I just can't forget how I hurt before...

I'm so need of love yet I'm so scare of love...

Hahaha...

Ridiculous me...

Sometimes just do your best

And no matter the end is bad or good

Just don't care about it

Good, you stay

Bad, just leave away

Invisible Love

It's hurt to have an invisible love

I just wish I can tell you "I Love You" openly...

I will wait you... Please make my believe come truth once...

Others have disappointed me...

Wish you are the one worth me to wait...

"I Love You" is easy to speak...

But it takes so hard to tell someone "I will wait you"...

Please cherish it... would you...?

I'm so afraid to love... really so afraid...

Because it hurts to see the one I love so much leave me one by one...

And I'm wondering what fault have I done...?

Suffering within the cycle of pain...

Makes my heart become lifeless and lifeless...

What makes me so pain?

Just because I really love someone...

Who can persuade himself with such pathetic reason?

I know no one...