So long no blogging already
This blog where I leave so long
I wish I will never back
I wish I will never speak the truth of me again
But still it can't be prevented...
I'm quite busy nowadays
Keep on organizing one and another gathering
To fill up my emptiness and loneliness
Yea... I'm really able to do it...
I have the ability to gather all the people from different area...
Hahaha...
I'm smiling along all the gathering I have made
Doing all the different things I want to try before...
But... Am I really smiling...?
No... it's so fake... even I can feel it's fake...
Nobody knows... And I don't want to tell anybody...
I used to alone... even lot of people is around me...
But no one touch my heart...
Is there any meaning?
I'm able to gather lot of people
But I'm always not able to see an only person I want to see...
Sometimes I feel so ridiculous...
Now I can't even know inside my heart...
Is there still anyone stays?
Or I'm lying to myself that's somebody stays?
I can't speak the truth to anybody anymore...
Not even the one I love the most
Or the one closest...
I don't know why I will be like this...
So hiding myself...
Or I just too afraid of hurt...
I close myself up...
Until no one can see me...
And not even me can control anymore...
Why I'm crying?
I don't know what is the cause...
Love? or Life?
Maybe I'm already being so cold to everything
The heart is crying because of the fallen of me
That his owner doesn't hear his voice anymore
That his owner doesn't care his will anymore
His owner choosing the path of cold
Choose to forsake everything even his truth self
I can hear the voice of my heart no more
And I found no one to teach me how to do that anymore...
Just be it...
I don't have to change myself because of emptiness...
Or I just suit to the life...
I no need anybody else...
I can live by myself...
Get back to the way... get back to the duty of life...
It's the time... Even you have forsaken yourself...
You must completed the task God has given to you...
"This world is full of ugliness and chaos
Human within this world who has the right to be sad?"
I, don't have the right to be sad... too...
