No U Turn

In this new year I found my new path...

I will work hard to fight for this new path

I'm not doing my best for past

Now I will do my best for this

I wish there is needless to U turn once again

I left the past behind

Future is what I'm fighting for

Hold it, and not afraid

~遇见你~

"怎么会遇到你?"

我也不知道

我也以为我很难再喜欢谁爱上谁

没想到这个时候遇上一个酱可爱的傻瓜

那个感觉不知道为什么又出现了

跟她讲话不需要再担心什么

看着她我笑也可以变得不需要理由

不知不觉那个累垮的心又开始跳动了

突然间我觉得不大敢再看着她

可能把自己真实那面暴露了，害羞了吧 XD

(耳朵都红了... 还给她看到下... aiz... 吃焦... T_T)

今天被她欺负到够够力

我的弱点都给她摸清摸透了

为什么酱乖会去跟她讲？

我也不知道，可能我真的被她仙到了

aiz... 看来还是又要给某某个女的压着欺负了...

鬼叫我总是对喜欢的那个没抵抗力... T_T

好喜欢跟她在一起的感觉...

我也不知道为什么突然变到那么大胆了...

就忍不住想抱她亲她... 完蛋了我... 真的变成色狼了... 呵呵呵...

听着"That's why you go away"她指着我的时候我真的好想跟她说...

"Baby you will never have the chance to ask me why I go away

Because I will never do that~"

不过现在我只好对她唱着"Right here waiting"咯...

她应该get不到为什么我会听那首歌... 呵呵呵... =P

突然觉得很多东西要努力去改一下

减肥啦，练muscle啦，早睡啦，驾车啦...

blah blah blah... 突然变得好忙下...

不过还真的忙得蛮开心下...

身体也不能乱乱来了省得人家还要考虑更久...呵呵 =P

希望真的能等到那一天

我能牵着她手到处逛

跟我爸妈朋友讲

"这是我女朋友"

呵呵呵... XP

Another Chance

Eyes that are looking at me

I can't face myself to you

Because I scare I might get addicted

I know, along the time we have

Even it's not long

But it actually makes some changes in my heart

Actually

I'm afraid doesn't lesser than yours

I afraid once my heart has given out

You are the another one who won't take care of it again

My heart might fell from the mid air and broke again

I think you didn't know that, how much I hate that feeling

Even in the deepest of my heart,

how much I hate those people who made it happened

I remember everything, every pain I felt

How I have forsaken by the one I love the most

Beg them don't go like a beggar losing all the pride of man I should have

Yet they push me away, I fell on the ground

Call their name for thousand times but they are deaf to my SOS

In the end I stand by myself with tons of pain

I afraid all of these will happened once again, how much I scare, I think you feel the same

Yet, I don't give up for what I'm wishing

I wish for the good end with my effort

I don't believe it must be always the same

There must be someone can see me, cherish all I have done

But along with all the failures it doesn't break me apart...

I'm walking on the way I want even everybody is telling me "You're stupid!"

I still believe there must be someone, someone can know why I'm doing all these things

Now, I met you

Your eyes tell me, you might be that someone

Your acts tell me, you might be the different one

Please don't afraid, I will be that different one to you

Everyone has past, I don't really mind what is happened in the past

As long as we work hard for the future, it will be fine

Give me and you another chance

Let's see whether we can be work for each other

Let us to be each other's shelter

Issit alright? I'm just waiting for your nodded...

The heart is already emptied for your resident

My eyes are opening and I laugh

But where is the happiness?

My eyes are closed and I cry

But I don't know why I'm crying...

Cried and Laughed

What is left in the heart?

I don't know...

"I don't mind..."

"I used to it..."

Has already frozen my heart

The flame doesn't burning anymore

Why I'm laughing?

Why I'm crying...?

Maybe it just a simply emotion expression

It's Time To Get Back

So long no blogging already

This blog where I leave so long

I wish I will never back

I wish I will never speak the truth of me again

But still it can't be prevented...

I'm quite busy nowadays

Keep on organizing one and another gathering

To fill up my emptiness and loneliness

Yea... I'm really able to do it...

I have the ability to gather all the people from different area...

Hahaha...

I'm smiling along all the gathering I have made

Doing all the different things I want to try before...

But... Am I really smiling...?

No... it's so fake... even I can feel it's fake...

Nobody knows... And I don't want to tell anybody...

I used to alone... even lot of people is around me...

But no one touch my heart...

Is there any meaning?

I'm able to gather lot of people

But I'm always not able to see an only person I want to see...

Sometimes I feel so ridiculous...

Now I can't even know inside my heart...

Is there still anyone stays?

Or I'm lying to myself that's somebody stays?

I can't speak the truth to anybody anymore...

Not even the one I love the most

Or the one closest...

I don't know why I will be like this...

So hiding myself...

Or I just too afraid of hurt...

I close myself up...

Until no one can see me...

And not even me can control anymore...

Why I'm crying?

I don't know what is the cause...

Love? or Life?

Maybe I'm already being so cold to everything

The heart is crying because of the fallen of me

That his owner doesn't hear his voice anymore

That his owner doesn't care his will anymore

His owner choosing the path of cold

Choose to forsake everything even his truth self

I can hear the voice of my heart no more

And I found no one to teach me how to do that anymore...

Just be it...

I don't have to change myself because of emptiness...

Or I just suit to the life...

I no need anybody else...

I can live by myself...

Get back to the way... get back to the duty of life...

It's the time... Even you have forsaken yourself...

You must completed the task God has given to you...

"This world is full of ugliness and chaos

Human within this world who has the right to be sad?"

I, don't have the right to be sad... too...

I can be much more stronger...

"I want to travel after my SPM!"

"Haha it's good, I dreamed to do it last time, but I didn't do that"

"Nvm you still young you can do it!"

"Then I think I have to travel alone xD"

"Travel with your partner!"

"I once planned to travel with her the end of this year... But..."

One of msn friend suddenly talk about this

I thought about you...

But in facebook chat, in front of you...

I hold my mouth...

Do not say I love you...

I hold my hand...

Do not type I love you...

Sorry for so much

Sorry I love you still...

But I won't tell you...

I keep try my best to act in front of you...

I won't let you know

I still love you...

Sorry I love you...

I think I can bear it...

Just like how I did last time...

I can did it again...

I can be much more stronger...

Even I'm crying like rain fall in front of LCD...

At the other side of you...

You will never know...

I don't want you know, I'm sad because of you...

That's what I can do for you still...

Sorry for how much I want to tell you

"I Love You"

I still want to travel with you...

Will God give me such a chance?

P/s:

A guy who keep crying makes people feel irritate right?

So just keep smile... even you are suffer...

There might be no one love your smile

But surely there is no one love your tear...^^

Forgiven and Forgotten

Please ask yourself...

Have you ever let someone to hurt deeply?

Have you ever pay all of yourself to someone...

And that person choose to turn around on you...?

Have you ever want to hate someone so much...

But you don't know how can you hate them?

Have you ever fell in this dilemma?

Forgiven, is such a beautiful word

It's like a perfection

You can say it, write it, but can you do it?

The scar, will be always there...

You can choose to ignore it...

Close your eyes...

Don't see it...

And treat it as you have already forgive that person who hurt you...

But still... you can feel it... you can feel the pain always

Whenever someone try to touch that scar again...

It will be always the shadow for you...

Forgiven, is not Forgotten...

This experience,

Will always be a shadow of your life

Whenever someone seem to do the same

It makes you feel pain...

You are become protective

You are become doubtfulness

You heart has built a wall for it

So that no one can touch that scar

And it makes, love can't heal that scar too...

Because love can never go through a high wall that you build for protection...

If you ever hurt...

Do understand

It takes how much courage

To forgive someone who hurt you

To pursuit your heart accept the scar that person left on you

To bear the pain so much so much...

That you can't hate 'em...

Because you know, you love 'em...

Forget... it's such a stupid word...

If human can choose what to be forgotten...

If you ever hurt somebody

You ask him to forget

That would be easier for you

Because the one who bear the scar is not you

If someone ever hurt you

And you ask to be forgotten and forgiven...

What do you feel...? Ridiculous...?

If you ever hurt somebody...

Please don't ask him to put down

Please don't ask him to forgive

Please don't ask him to forget...

If he ever say yes... it just a big lie over there...

You have already hurt him once...

Please don't force him to hurt himself too for twice...

He paid all for you... even his pride... his freedom...

Is all for you...

You denied all of those...

And you ask him to forget about what he has done...

You are surely to be kidding...

Because the one who pay, not you...

Human, no matter how hard they try to do

They will never be God

Forgive and Forget to hurt that someone even make to them

It's a perfection

It's a God's work

Something that human can't achieve

They can act nothing at all

They can still smile to you

They can always help you

They can always accompany you

But their heart are bleeding under their smiley mask

You will never know

Because you never care about it

They will never tell you too

Because they know you will not care about it

Even they only exist when you need them

Still they doesn't turn their back on you

Because

They are those who really love you

Which make them can't hate you

Like you father and mother

They never leave you

Even you kill them

If you ever want somebody to forget and forgive

Please ask yourself first

Can you do it?

If you don't want somebody to feel pain for you

Please

Don't hurt them.

Please don't apologize

It doesn't compensate anything

You left a scar on their heart

Sometimes that will probably influence whole of their life

You won't know

If you ever lie somebody

Maybe s/he will never trust anyone again

If you ever fail somebody

Maybe s/he will never love again

If you ever hurt somebody

You might just create a criminal that will do the same like you

This is a Sin

Humanity is not an excuse

We born to be doing better

Not to follow the ugly flow.

Please don't tell me these words

Unless you show me you can do that

If not you're just bullshit